初心易得，始終難守

Tag: 杰妹

  • 二零零六年终总结

    一年过去，总是要写点总结的，不管是工作总结还是生活总结，这过去的一年，真是波澜起伏高潮迭起丫，我从头开始说起，一月份的时候，我一个人在家，楼上的房间，思考着在某些故事里我是不是该去插一脚，思考的结果是，不要去插一脚，但是现在我发现我没做到，喔，一月份申请了这个域名，开始正儿八经的编故事给大家看，到万州去了两次还是一次，新华书店对面那家的肥肠拉面不错，和桃桃刚认识，也许是刚认识，我记不清楚，小严告诉我说她和老殷订婚了，言之凿凿，我用的创业卡九点之后可以单向免费接听，于是我告诉她们晚上九点之后给我电话，其它时间一律不接。二月份，小妖无意间知道了那张所谓打折机票的真相，这就是一个死角，在这个问题上，不可能有完美的解决办法让双方满意，见证了小伊的第二次分手，额，不对，是我所知道的第二次分手，情人节的时候，接手了33打算送给她前夫的巧克力，前妻过来拿了她的情人节礼物，就回去了解放碑，她说她明天要加班，老殷说我的日志写得太平庸，流水帐，一点都不刺激，他说我的生活应该是比写出来的更刺激些，我说哪有你刺激，小严在公共场合拉你裤子拉链～全都写出来这世界就要乱套了，嗯，突发奇想自制了一个情趣跳蛋，不过到现在一次也没用过。三月份，挪用公款买了相机，开始到处偷拍美女，到万州出差的时候偷拍了三峡学院的女生宿舍，不过晚上距离太远了，早上我起来的时候她们都还没起床，笳琪说她梦见我了，我问我们干了什么，她说什么都没干，不是淫乱的梦，我COW，我可是什么都没说啊……其实，我想她梦见的也许不是我，因为在她所理解的重庆，会骑自行车的人，那可是太少了，我只是那个在上海的场景中出现的某个人的影子。四月份，美好不知道是哪股筋不对头，跑到我这里来洗澡，难道你以前都不洗澡？当然这个环节我没写出来，因为担心前妻看到又要妄加猜测，她也是天蝎，灰姑娘给我发来她的第一个彩信，江南的阴天，那是她在台州的时候，而我，去刻了生平第一张DVD，寄给她老师在上海的地址，杭州MM途经重庆回涪陵，到我这里住了一晚上，我第一次去江北国际机场接人，我告诉前妻说我感冒了，会传染给她，叫她周末不要过来，其实，这也不算撒谎，因为我的确感冒了，而且的确怕传染给她，只是她不知道全部。五月份，公司确定将要搬迁到北京，我也跟着去北京，北京有那么多密友，倒是不至于非常的无聊，我告诉前妻说，如果你不要我去北京，我就不去，她说，你还是去吧，我不想你因为我耽误了你的发展，那天她满身烟味凌晨查房的时候我就知道，她也许有点郁闷，我说北京的日照蛮强烈的，她就给我买了一副墨镜，也就是现在这副，他们都说感觉还不错。六月份，启程去北京，第一次坐飞机，吓死我了，决定以后再也不坐飞机，安全系数不高，到北京四周转了转，不过如此，就是一个大农村，33给我打电话的时候再也不会一说一个钟头了，因为北京的手机号码没有单向收费，月底，灰姑娘回到北京，第一次在电话里面听到她的声音，觉得很不可爱，像是年少的时候嗓子使用过度。七月份，北京让我感到极度的不适，除了那朵牡丹花，我陷入了一种困境，如果非要给这种困境下一个定义，那么我无法去定义，在极度郁闷的时候编了一篇一夜情的故事，有人说是真的，有人说是假的，有人提出修改意见，不过大家似乎都没有反感，也没有人提到背叛，尼采说，在爱情里面，是没有道德可言的，虽然他的大多数观点我都同意，这个观点却不甚赞同，公共道德不可能为每一个人的具体行为做出具体限制。八月份，一个美丽的错误，当时的想法，写了一篇故事，没发出来，隐藏了，借给婷宝贝一千块，有去无回，她辜负了我的信任，骑车从上地到牡丹园，一小时四十分钟，耍你？我明白了，你对我不信任。九月份，老殷和小严正式分手，之前小严给我说过多次她要分手，我都当作玩笑，这次也是，不过我叫老殷去安慰她的时候，老殷却给了我确认的消息，我整理着我的分手信，犹豫着什么时候寄，灰姑娘总是说，不寄不行么？我说，不行。十月份，美好抱怨我答应她去温泉的事情，去了北京便遥遥无期，到昌平去的路上，丢了一件羊毛衫，我还有一件相同的羊毛衫，下次找个时间去丢掉，开始每周去腐败，试图从这腐败中寻找快感，前妻在我寄出分手信二十多天之后收到了我的信，她问我为什么要寄给她，她是个极其倔强的女人，就像很多人不理解为什么她喊我“老婆”。十一月份，到处腐败找不到快感，我试图从各式花哨的衣服和挂饰中寻找，到中友买了件九百九十九的大衣，到西直门买了一件红色的花衬衣和一顶拉风带尾巴的帽子，准备买四条两百块围巾的时候被杰妹坚决的制止了，于是改买了两条八十八块的内裤，效果不明显，我伤感的情绪日益滋长。十二月份，也就是这个月，婷妹是不可能理解到我的，悲伤的时候我可以陪她一起悲伤，她不悲伤的时候却让我更加悲伤，我知道这种情绪不对，但是我没法去做出改变，笳琪邀我回重庆吃鸡杂，我去查机票，然后说机票太贵，她发给我一个带血的表情，第二周的星期一，我订了一张周末回重庆的机票，正好赶上了圣诞，相信我，并不是因为圣诞才回重庆，在星期五晚上保福寺桥到首都国际机场的大巴车上，你说你想见我，我一时不知道该说什么，你是那么的不愿意出门，其实并非因为寒冷，而是因为，和你同行的，不是你想要的那个人。

    算起来，这一年，小半时间在重庆，大半时间在北京，快要到二零零七年的最后两天，下雪了，我喜欢这种雪花，但是我更喜欢下雨的天气，小雪下得无声无息，小雨会下得淅沥哗啦，打在雨伞上的那种声音，我坐在这西门酒吧，吃着薯条拌番茄酱，喝着半杯干红，三个小时一言不发，小谭站到我旁边，“你能不能说句话啊”，我望着她，半分钟之后，说了一个单词：Perfect! 然后她兴奋的说，你这几天腐不腐败丫，你带我去腐败嘛～我!@#$%^$#W$@^##@%^#%*()*&^#@！还有半个小时，就到二零零七年，过去的一年我做对了什么？做错了什么？没有，已经发生的一切，是历史的必然。

  • Old style

    到重庆一趟，让我元气大伤，下车的时候很想倒在那片瓦砾上，杰妹坚持要我去酒吧，她说她想我了。

    33送我的内衣不错，触感温婉柔和，或者说居家服更合适，照片发给她，她问我是不是大了，我说我喜欢宽松的，穿那么紧绷干嘛，记得本高先生每到夏天就穿很长的很宽大的自制长袖来上课，完全的私塾先生打扮，可惜他现在不上课了，大概也没有了那种氛围，小伊昨晚上去醉酒，吐得一塌糊涂，我想，这样的方式也许更好，她虽然幼稚，但是她却从不为自己的决定后悔，这很难得。

    在NYT上看到一篇文章，觉得应该是被标记为Modern Love专栏才对，后来一想，这明明就是Old style，我到底是怎么在想哦……和大家分享一下，希望大家能完整的阅读。

    Full Text:
    Vows: Marilu Henner, Michael Brown
    IT was October 1970. President Nixon was in office and the Beatles had broken up. Every Thursday night, a feisty red-haired young woman named Marilu Henner walked across the campus of the University of Chicago alongside Michael Brown, a handsome guy with long hair and glacier blue eyes. They were freshmen, giddy with newfound freedom. Anyone strolling by would have assumed they were a couple.
    They were not. “My roommate Linda was dating him, and he would walk me back to the dorm from physics class to see her,” said Ms. Henner, who became an actress and is perhaps best known for the hit TV series “Taxi” and for appearances in Broadway shows. “I wish I had met him first.”
    Mr. Brown and the roommate eventually broke up. Ms. Henner wanted more than anything to pursue him, but she said the “girlfriend code” — never date a friend’s ex — forbade it. She stifled her crush.
    “I had no idea she felt that way,” Mr. Brown, 54, said the other day. “I’m a guy. I don’t have that radar.”
    Ms. Henner, also 54, made her Broadway debut in 1974 in the musical “Over Here!” She had grown up in a theatrical household. Her parents ran a dancing school in the backyard of their Chicago house and a beauty salon in the kitchen. An uncle operated a cat hospital on the roof when he wasn’t serving as the neighborhood astrologist.
    While Ms. Henner pursued her acting career, Mr. Brown became a merchant seaman and traveled the world.
    The actress and the sailor crossed paths again in the fall of 1980 in New Orleans. Ms. Henner, then 28 and already recognizable as the spunky female cabbie on “Taxi,” was sitting in a small office at City Hall, awaiting a wedding license for her impending first marriage to the actor Frederic Forrest. Suddenly, she saw Mr. Brown pass in the hallway. “I was so excited,” Ms. Henner remembered. “I screamed and went running after him.”
    Mr. Brown, who had married and had just returned from living in Brazil, had no idea that Ms. Henner was famous. “She invited me to her wedding, but then I never got a phone call with the details,” he said. Ms. Henner had realized that she couldn’t have him there for two reasons: her fiancé was very jealous and Mr. Brown’s eyes still buckled her knees.
    “I kept thinking, ‘How come I’m not marrying a guy like that?’ ” she said.
    More than 20 years passed. Ms. Henner divorced Mr. Forrest, and then married the television director Robert Lieberman, with whom she had two sons. In 2001, she was again divorced and living high in the Hollywood Hills.
    Mr. Brown, who had three children and who was also divorced, lived nearby in Palos Verdes. He had joined his twin brother, Marc, as a partner in BrownTrout Publishers, a San Francisco company that made wall calendars, books and pocket planners.
    That February, a mutual friend who had recently run into Ms. Henner passed her phone number to Mr. Brown. “I was alone and adrift,” he said. “I didn’t know that Marilu was single. I just wanted to talk to a friend.” He called and left a message.
    “My heart was pounding when I called him back,” Ms. Henner said. “I twisted like a pretzel to put the tension in my body, so he wouldn’t hear it in my voice.”
    A date was set for dinner. Mr. Brown, who usually wears black jeans and a leather jacket, arrived an hour late to pick up Ms. Henner because his daughters had insisted on dressing him in a silk shirt and pleated pants. (“I saved that outfit, but he hasn’t worn it since,” Ms. Henner said.) After a four-and-a-half-hour meal, they returned to Ms. Henner’s home. She took him outside to admire the view a few times. Finally, he got the hint: they kissed.
    Within a week, they were in love. Two months later, Mr. Brown found out he had bladder cancer. Ms. Henner, a longtime vegan who has written several health books, quickly took charge and arranged appointments with a phalanx of specialists. During a CAT scan, it was discovered that Mr. Brown also had early-stage lung cancer.
    “My friends asked me, ‘Doesn’t this make you want to bail?’ ” Ms. Henner said. “I said: ‘No way! I had finally found the love of my life and I want him around for another 30 years, at least.’ ”
    Mr. Brown, whom Ms. Henner likens to a sequoia because he is tall, strapping and solid, said: “I felt like it was more unfair for her than for me. But she stuck with me and she saved my life.”
    In November of that year, Mr. Brown underwent surgery to remove the lower lobe of his right lung. He awoke, feeling groggy. When he finally focused, he saw Ms. Henner. She was sitting at his bedside, smiling and holding his hand.
    “With all the emotion I could muster, I proposed,” said Mr. Brown, whose disease is in remission. “I love her spirit.”
    They were married on Thursday before 100 people in Ms. Henner’s home. The bridegroom’s twin brother, a Universal Life minister, officiated. The bride, who wore a pale peach Escada gown, was given away by her sons, Nicky, 12, and Joey, 11. In the couple’s vows, she promised to update his wardrobe, and he swore to obey the rules in her health books.
    “It’s nice that people live long enough that they’re able to find their way back to the place where they always should have been,” the bridegroom’s twin brother said.
    ? Copyright 2006 The New York Times Company

  • 一份请假条

    今天的苹果好大，好大一个啊，比我的拳头都大，嗯，比你的拳头更大，还是昨天那种黄色的苹果，杰妹给我拿了一堆带子过来，替换质量低劣的工卡带子，我选了根大红色的，一个月有四周，这样，一周换一种颜色，应该可以半年一轮，她还送了我一面小镜子作为圣诞礼物，虽然不够精致，我还是欣然接受了，毕竟她和未知男在逛街的时候还能想到给我买东西，这是很难得的嘛，到办公室我的桌子上乱翻一气，所有物件顿时东倒西歪，因为我一向喜欢把各式物件摆出摇摇欲坠的姿态，她做事还是如此不细心，且不以为耻，反以为荣，我又没办法像葳君那样对她拳打脚踢，我不太赞成暴力，她Y就抓住我这弱点，边捣乱还边说：我就是贱，囊个～一个人，难得的是对自己有一个清楚的认识，更难得的是有了清楚的认识还要往火坑里面跳，唉，莫得法啊……

    打了一份请假条，上次写请假条是在什么时候？哦，大二的时候，国贸老头子，让我补考也没过的那个国贸老头，一般来说，大学里面故意为难不让过的有两种老师，一种是比较正直，正气浩然的那种，一种是心理变态，整人为乐的那种，这个国贸老头恰好属于正气浩然的那种，我也没得理由去反驳他，当然了，那种整人为乐的也不是没有，在其它系有这种老师，我多是对其报以一种可怜的态度，这份请假条大概是工作以来的第一张，打破我良好的出勤记录～迟到的除外……

    你又开始了忙碌的工作，没日没黑，没有空闲，不过，也许如你所说，这个剧目，于你的职业生涯有着巨大的帮助，希望你能得到，自己想要的东西，只是那个第三性的想法，很让我惊讶……其实，那些憋屈的元素，可能也是受了这工作的影响。翡老师卷入一起争论，让她锋芒顿失的是因为牵扯到了旧情人，于是我就上去替她骂了几句，极其恶毒地，至于这个争论的本身，在我看来，就是一个写实，还是写意的问题，如同文人相轻，美术界也一样，当然，就人像摄影这块来看，我比较喜欢写实的，计算机处理过多，其实是一种悲哀，活人，不是一个没有生命的物体，刻意去抹杀其生命特征，是个错误。不过他们的争论太过温柔，全然没有我当年指桑骂槐的快意，骂得他们不想骂了，那就是胜利，可能是现在大家都比较中性。某女今天很空闲，跟我说了半天，我完全心不在焉，因为我一直在想一个问题，上次某男到武汉看她，我问，为什么要送他去宾馆，不带回家，她说，因为妈妈不喜欢，我问，如果我来武汉呢，她说，我就知道你会这么问。哦，我已经不记得最后的答案，我这记忆力。原以为你的记忆力很好，突然发现你的记忆力也很差，或许你也像那个某某某，做了选择性失忆。